(Personal rant) Slut shaming

Hello,
this will be one of those “Sushi rants about stuff, AGAIN”-posts , so you’re warned. This post also contains a great amount of swear words.

This time I’d like to talk about something that’s been a topic amongst with some people I know: slut shaming.

Let’s start with the Oxford Dictionary definition of slut:

Slut  Pronunciation: /slʌt/

Definition of slut

noun

derogatory

             1 a woman who has many casual sexual partners.

             2 dated a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

Derivatives

sluttish

adjective

sluttishness

noun

slutty

adjective

Don’t know what derogatory means? Well, let Oxford Dictionary define that for you too:

Definition of derogatory

adjective

•   showing a critical or disrespectful attitude:

Now, let me highlight the word DISRESPECTFUL. Because that’s what it is. Calling someone a slut is disrespectful. In other words it’s NOT a nice thing. Nor a good one.

Hmmm, now then... let me define the word slut shaming for you. This is a relatively new concept so it hasn’t been included in the Oxford Dictionary yet, so you’ll have to do with a general definition. And I’ll give you the short version:

Slut shaming or slut-bashing

•     shaming/attacking a female for being sexual, sexually active, having sexual feelings, or having multiple partners

Mind you, this also often includes attacking/shaming a female because of how they dress. Sometimes you can’t even hear the word SLUT, but you just know that it’s slut shaming.

As a young woman who is (kind of) a feminist, and who believes in equal rights and opportunities, slut shaming is something I detest. Unfortunately, it’s something I meet repeatedly and usually from a friend’s mouth.
For example I had a friend complaining about why he can’t get a girl (even for a one night), and when I asked what kind of girl he wanted, he happened to say (and this is an exact quote):
“A very attractive not slutty tall brunette?”
Of course I went on an immediate rant about how that just shows why he’s not getting any, and explained him the concept of slut shaming. And as he was basing his standards on a girl’s looks, he was obviously implying at the way a girl would dress
.

That does not make me happy.
I mean, what the fuck does it matter to you how someone dresses, especially to a nightclub? If you see a woman in revealing clothes, is she clearly a slut? NO. Does it mean that she most probably wants to have sex (desperately)? NO. Does it mean that she gives out to everyone? NO.
But that’s what most men (and even women) seem to think whenever they see a female dressed in short skirt or showy top.
Have you ever thought that they decided to wear that because they wanted to? That it made them feel and look good? No, you probably haven't.

Do you see now how RIDICULOUS it is? Guys can seemingly dress however the fuck they want, but “Ugh, she’s such a slut” the second she’s not covering herself completely. And I HATE, absolutely HATE the fact that guys seem to immediately think a girl wants them if they’re wearing barely any clothes.

JUST NO.

Secondly... WHY THE FUCK DO YOU TWIST YOUR PANTIES JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE, A FEMALE, HAS LOTS OF SEX OR MULTIPLE PARTNERS? What the heck does it matter to you?
Is it REALLY that bad that someone’s sexually active or has a high sex drive and ACTS on it?

Now to a hypothetical situation (which unfortunately I've found to have happened although this scenario is exaggerated):

James decided to sleep with the whole swimming team. “Oh, what a lad. What a legend!” says his friends.
Marie decided to sleep with the whole lacrosse team. “Oh, she’s such a slut. She sleeps around,” says the boys AND the girls.

EXCUSE ME? Double standards anyone? So once again it’s okay for men to sleep with whoever they want, however much they want, whenever they want, BUT the second, OH MY CHUCK,  a female does this, she’s a slut?!

As far as I know, pleasure is for everyone who wants it. Pleasure should be for all, not just for men.

Why has society (coughwhitemencough) set boundaries to how women should dress and behave sexually, while men seem to be able to do what they please, and express their desires AND tell about them? Women need to have a reason, like love of marriage, to have sex? Sorry, but not in my fucking vicinity. If you do slut shame when I’m there, you can go fuck yourself.

I mean honestly, you can get a complete virgin, asexual, WHOEVER, dressed provocatively and suddenly you’re allowed to call them a slut? NU-UH. Think again. Actually, do you even KNOW them? And even if you do know them, why the FUCK do you call them a slut just because they dress differently or have sex more than you and tell you about it?

Did you know that there are more different words for a woman who sleeps around than for a man who sleeps around? And whereas most of the words for women are often rude and belittling (such as slag, hussy, doll or wench), the words for men are not nearly as bad (Casanova, Romeo, ladies’ man, gigolo...)? Well, now you know.

Basically... ANY female is in danger of being slut shamed... and OH MY FUCKINGCHUCK DON’T LET ME START ON VICTIM BLAMING THAT FOLLOWS SLUT SHAMING...
“Well, she was obviously begging for it because the way she dressed.”

UGH. UGH. UGH.

And don’t even try to start the “But men get called sluts as well,” shit on me. BECAUSE it is NOT used as often OR in the same way people use it on women. When you call a man a slut, it’s most probably because of his habit, unlike with women where the word is mostly used to degrade them completely.

So I would like you to look into the mirror, or just go into your head and ask yourself “Do I slut shame?” and if the answer is “Yes”, then ask yourself “Why the fuck do I do it? Do I really need to do it? Am I insecure? Does bashing someone else make me feel better?” Have you ever thought HOW much it could harm someone?
Ask this. Especially if you’re a female yourself.
I get called a hussy and a slut just because I know lot of representatives of the male sex. I have friends, who are men. Yes, does that make me a slut? Well, as far as I know, I've never slept with them NOR charged them for sexual service so... you can be the judge. But still people like to call me those names.

If you are a woman, WHY do you do it? Aren’t we oppressed enough? Do you REALLY fucking need to oppress another woman just because of their sex drive or the way they dress? Have you ever realised, that it’s just a thing that men want... women fighting over their approval? I think the men have already too much power, we don’t need to give them this as well.

I think that it’s time to stop bashing other females and request equality from society (coughwhitemencough). We live in a rape culture where slut shaming and victim blaming happens constantly. And it is DISGUSTING. Let’s do something about it!'

This has been a rant, blog ya later!

Now go out, and be sluts.