So this is something that’s been bothering me for a while,
and I just feel the need to get it out now. This might get long, but please,
bear with me.
What I want to talk about is weight. That is body weight.
We live in this society, infested with all kinds of diets (and I’m not now talking about
someone’s general diet, I’m talking about those weight-loss ones), and media
full of skinny people, and it seems to me it’s become a basic assumption, that pretty
much everyone thinks everyone else wants to lose weight as well and that they
should be complimented when they’ve lost weight. So basically people are worth
the compliment of “You’re looking good” when they’ve lost weight. We are
basically living in a time of “thin privilege” where we are, well our worth is,
automatically reduced to our dress size and measurements, and where the
skinnier seem to have it better (NO, I am NOT saying that skinny people don’t
get discriminated, just read further, please).
Now this leads to fat shaming, and in a twisted way, also to skinny shaming, which
both lead to eating and mental disorders with most people. I mean both are
about shaming, discriminating people because of their appearances, and you can
NOT possibly know if the person is happy about themselves and what’s going on
in their head when you make a comment about their weight, be it a compliment or
criticism. Unless you ask them first. For example me… well let me actually tell you a short story about me
and my weight.
I never used to think about my weight, I was happy just the
way I was, even with my depression and anxiety. Then I got my first mental
medication, which screwed me up completely and soon enough I developed an
eating disorder. I started gaining weight, but I wasn’t still thinking about my
weight in a bad way. Not until people started to comment on it. I got some
REALLY nasty comments every now and then, people telling me how I didn’t look
healthy, that I was unhealthy. All the time I just wanted to say that it wasn’t
my fault, it was my eating disorder’s. I was already anxious, now I got more
anxious. Of course thanks to the nasty and constant comments, my disorder took
a turn to the opposite and in a year or so I lost a ridiculous amount of
weight, and when I saw some of the people who had been looking at me
previously, obviously thinking about my weight as a bad thing, were now telling
me how good I was looking etc. As if I wasn’t bloody gorgeous before and I only
was worthy of people and their compliments now that I was skinnier.
Thing is, my weight kept falling, and soon people were saying things like “You’re
gonna disappear soon.” No, I wasn’t underweight/anorexic. I was at a perfectly
normal weight in my opinion, but still people felt the need to comment about it
to me. Since then, many times I haven’t seen someone I know for a while, when
we see they usually immediately tell me that “you’ve lost weight” like it’s a
good thing.
I am not gonna lie. It’s a trigger for me. I haven’t been happy with myself
since years ago when my eating disorder originally developed. Whenever someone
comments on my weight, it triggers all these shitty memories in me. I hate it.
Some people see me and tell me “You’ve lost weight, you’re looking good,” and
all I can think is: “I don’t wanna lose weight. I’m not losing weight, because
I want to. Does this mean I wasn’t good looking before?” And all these other
horrifying thoughts NO ONE should deserve to be thinking.
Nowadays I just don't want to hear comments about my weight, and if I do, I escape the situation ASAP.
So that’s my story in a nutshell. So if you come to me, telling that fat
shaming is completely okay, since it’ll courage “obese people” to lose weight,
you can, and I’m gonna say this NICELY now: “Go fuck yourself in the ass with
the prickliest cactus you can find.”
It’s okay to be concerned about the people you care, and if you think they are
unhealthily over/underweight (question is over/under WHAT weight?) then TALK about it to them. NICELY. Don’t make
them feel bad about themselves. Also, that BMI thing? Quite a lot of crap, lemme tell you.
Now, I don’t want any of you going to your skinny friends
and tell them how privileged they are and make them feel bad about themselves
either.
Fat/Skinny shaming, aka putting someone to shame because of
the way they look, is someone making another human being feel bad and
inadequate by discriminating them just because the other one is
fatter/skinnier.
Now answer this question to me, please: Who deserves to be called names and
shamed because of their looks?
...
If you answered: “No one” - GREAT. You are a decent human
being.
If you answered: “Fat/Skinny people” – Once again, go kindly fuck yourself with
a cactus.
If you answered: “*insert a name of a person here*” – You should probably re-evaluate
your thinking style and reconsider if you REALLY need to call this person names
and shame them because of their looks. There is still hope for you.
This is getting a bit long now, so I’ll try to wrap up soon.
The point I’m trying to make here, is that you can’t know for sure if a person
wants you to comment on their weight, if they’re not happy or are happy with
their weight/are trying to lose weight/etc. unless they tell you. So please
dear people, unless you know that someone wants to be complimented/commented on
their weight, think about saying anything before saying something. You’ll never
know who has a problematic past, who are struggling with a disorder, who just plain
doesn’t want to hear about it.
And do stop shaming the fat and skinny people. Do they really hurt your life
that much? Are they personally offending you by being the weight they are? Have
you though that they might have other problems already than dealing with your
shitty way of letting out your opinions/your personal problems?
And lastly, but not least…ly, my dears, do NOT go on a diet
just because you feel pressured to lose weight. Do it if you REALLY want to do
it, if YOU feel like you need to do it. And don’t ever pressure other people to
do the same. Never make someone feel pressured to gain/lose weight. Honestly.
Your body, your rules.
Stay human~ Sushi out!
PS. If you want any comments/recommendations about weight loss/weight gain, feel free to just comment here and ask me anything. I'll help you the best I can (and just because I'm a Bachelor of Arts, doesn't mean I don't know anything about nutrition etc.)
