(Personal rant) Slut shaming

Hello,
this will be one of those “Sushi rants about stuff, AGAIN”-posts , so you’re warned. This post also contains a great amount of swear words.

This time I’d like to talk about something that’s been a topic amongst with some people I know: slut shaming.

Let’s start with the Oxford Dictionary definition of slut:

Slut  Pronunciation: /slʌt/

Definition of slut

noun

derogatory

             1 a woman who has many casual sexual partners.

             2 dated a woman with low standards of cleanliness.

Derivatives

sluttish

adjective

sluttishness

noun

slutty

adjective

Don’t know what derogatory means? Well, let Oxford Dictionary define that for you too:

Definition of derogatory

adjective

•   showing a critical or disrespectful attitude:

Now, let me highlight the word DISRESPECTFUL. Because that’s what it is. Calling someone a slut is disrespectful. In other words it’s NOT a nice thing. Nor a good one.

Hmmm, now then... let me define the word slut shaming for you. This is a relatively new concept so it hasn’t been included in the Oxford Dictionary yet, so you’ll have to do with a general definition. And I’ll give you the short version:

Slut shaming or slut-bashing

•     shaming/attacking a female for being sexual, sexually active, having sexual feelings, or having multiple partners

Mind you, this also often includes attacking/shaming a female because of how they dress. Sometimes you can’t even hear the word SLUT, but you just know that it’s slut shaming.

As a young woman who is (kind of) a feminist, and who believes in equal rights and opportunities, slut shaming is something I detest. Unfortunately, it’s something I meet repeatedly and usually from a friend’s mouth.
For example I had a friend complaining about why he can’t get a girl (even for a one night), and when I asked what kind of girl he wanted, he happened to say (and this is an exact quote):
“A very attractive not slutty tall brunette?”
Of course I went on an immediate rant about how that just shows why he’s not getting any, and explained him the concept of slut shaming. And as he was basing his standards on a girl’s looks, he was obviously implying at the way a girl would dress
.

That does not make me happy.
I mean, what the fuck does it matter to you how someone dresses, especially to a nightclub? If you see a woman in revealing clothes, is she clearly a slut? NO. Does it mean that she most probably wants to have sex (desperately)? NO. Does it mean that she gives out to everyone? NO.
But that’s what most men (and even women) seem to think whenever they see a female dressed in short skirt or showy top.
Have you ever thought that they decided to wear that because they wanted to? That it made them feel and look good? No, you probably haven't.

Do you see now how RIDICULOUS it is? Guys can seemingly dress however the fuck they want, but “Ugh, she’s such a slut” the second she’s not covering herself completely. And I HATE, absolutely HATE the fact that guys seem to immediately think a girl wants them if they’re wearing barely any clothes.

JUST NO.

Secondly... WHY THE FUCK DO YOU TWIST YOUR PANTIES JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE, A FEMALE, HAS LOTS OF SEX OR MULTIPLE PARTNERS? What the heck does it matter to you?
Is it REALLY that bad that someone’s sexually active or has a high sex drive and ACTS on it?

Now to a hypothetical situation (which unfortunately I've found to have happened although this scenario is exaggerated):

James decided to sleep with the whole swimming team. “Oh, what a lad. What a legend!” says his friends.
Marie decided to sleep with the whole lacrosse team. “Oh, she’s such a slut. She sleeps around,” says the boys AND the girls.

EXCUSE ME? Double standards anyone? So once again it’s okay for men to sleep with whoever they want, however much they want, whenever they want, BUT the second, OH MY CHUCK,  a female does this, she’s a slut?!

As far as I know, pleasure is for everyone who wants it. Pleasure should be for all, not just for men.

Why has society (coughwhitemencough) set boundaries to how women should dress and behave sexually, while men seem to be able to do what they please, and express their desires AND tell about them? Women need to have a reason, like love of marriage, to have sex? Sorry, but not in my fucking vicinity. If you do slut shame when I’m there, you can go fuck yourself.

I mean honestly, you can get a complete virgin, asexual, WHOEVER, dressed provocatively and suddenly you’re allowed to call them a slut? NU-UH. Think again. Actually, do you even KNOW them? And even if you do know them, why the FUCK do you call them a slut just because they dress differently or have sex more than you and tell you about it?

Did you know that there are more different words for a woman who sleeps around than for a man who sleeps around? And whereas most of the words for women are often rude and belittling (such as slag, hussy, doll or wench), the words for men are not nearly as bad (Casanova, Romeo, ladies’ man, gigolo...)? Well, now you know.

Basically... ANY female is in danger of being slut shamed... and OH MY FUCKINGCHUCK DON’T LET ME START ON VICTIM BLAMING THAT FOLLOWS SLUT SHAMING...
“Well, she was obviously begging for it because the way she dressed.”

UGH. UGH. UGH.

And don’t even try to start the “But men get called sluts as well,” shit on me. BECAUSE it is NOT used as often OR in the same way people use it on women. When you call a man a slut, it’s most probably because of his habit, unlike with women where the word is mostly used to degrade them completely.

So I would like you to look into the mirror, or just go into your head and ask yourself “Do I slut shame?” and if the answer is “Yes”, then ask yourself “Why the fuck do I do it? Do I really need to do it? Am I insecure? Does bashing someone else make me feel better?” Have you ever thought HOW much it could harm someone?
Ask this. Especially if you’re a female yourself.
I get called a hussy and a slut just because I know lot of representatives of the male sex. I have friends, who are men. Yes, does that make me a slut? Well, as far as I know, I've never slept with them NOR charged them for sexual service so... you can be the judge. But still people like to call me those names.

If you are a woman, WHY do you do it? Aren’t we oppressed enough? Do you REALLY fucking need to oppress another woman just because of their sex drive or the way they dress? Have you ever realised, that it’s just a thing that men want... women fighting over their approval? I think the men have already too much power, we don’t need to give them this as well.

I think that it’s time to stop bashing other females and request equality from society (coughwhitemencough). We live in a rape culture where slut shaming and victim blaming happens constantly. And it is DISGUSTING. Let’s do something about it!'

This has been a rant, blog ya later!

Now go out, and be sluts.

Which task to tackle first..?

Who the heck thought it'd be a great idea to be a treasurer for Dance Society, an officer for International Committee, start dissertation early, do some extra dancing alongside of dance and all the coursework?!?
Oh yeah, I did.

In other words, I'm struck with a busy period, where I'm supposed to write a 2000 word report for Friday, apparently also make a big info packet/stall about Finland (for World Festival we're organising), organise a treasure hunt for Saturday (also for World Festival), sort out kit money for dance (which is going to be happening all over the week), start working on my practical for independent study, and so on...

SO. I'll be back to blogging as soon as I can, which will hopefully be after this weekend!

ERMAHGERD FRESHERS’ WEEK!

Hello once again.
This time I’ll shortly tell you about Freshers’ Week, when I volunteered for SU’s Freshers’ Crew once again, and spent a lot of time meeting new people and partying. I'll be back to "serious" blogging soon.

It started on 15^th and finished on 22^nd of September. During this time I went out every night, apart from that last Saturday. I also volunteered/worked on most of the days, so you can bet your sweet ass I was a tired, emotional mess by the end of that. But it was SO much fun.

The first night out that I actually have photo proof of, was on Sunday (16th) when there was an event called Circus Sunday.
Now, I had done a make-up design quite some time ago inspired by Kid Cudi’s The Ruler and the Killer.

Here’s the design in question.

And since it was a Circus Sunday, and my costume was darkly coloured anyway, I thought it’d be a perfect opportunity for me to try the design in question for the first time.

This is what it turned out like:

Eyes open.

Eyes (nearly) closed.

And here you can see my costume for the night:

I look... funny x)

The second night out was... A RAVE.
Well, an UV Party on Monday to which I boringly enough wore a white top, short orange shorts (these ones), and slapped yellow, orange and blue make-up accompanied with bright pink lips.
There is ONE picture of me from that night, but I look ridiculous in it so I’m NOT showing it to you x)

Tuesday was my day off from volunteering, but I still couldn’t stay away from the party, and so I joined my friends at the Bavariafest in the evening.
I don’t even drink alcohol, but singing drinking songs along the band and watching others taking part in drinking games was fun. The band was a Bavarian Oompah Band and they really got everyone going :D It was great fun, although I didn’t stay too long since I had a morning shift the next day.

On Wednesday we had the very first social night, where all the societies welcomed their new members. We (the dancers aka Saints) had a “scribble social” where everyone took an ordinary, blank, white t-shirt or top, some markers and asked people to write on them.
I gotta say that my t-shirt didn’t survive from the rude comments, and a lot of people were trying to claim their ownership over me on  my t-shirt... Someone wrote “Isaac was here 2012”, but I gotta admit that I don’t even know this Isaac.
But once again, I had fun and it was a great night with the new puppies of the dance society.

I wasn’t supposed to work on Thursday, BUT I somehow ended up going to the Uni and helping out by standing there in my Freshers’ Crew t-shirt.

Me with Louise, another Freshers’ Crewster that was ACTUALLY working that day x) Photo by Paul Beard, our awesome SU photographer.

That night I went to the Foam Party. I went to one last year as well, but this time I decided to take part in it. The foam was all the way to my knees, my friend Josie and I were SOAKED, our hairs were a mess, but we had fun. We even met two non-students and I named one of them Chin, because he looked part Hawaiian and refused to be called Kono or Keahu.

Josie and I BEFORE the foam attacked us. Photo by Donston Powell at Tramps.

Getting soaked and getting my ballerina flats horrendously smelly (they smelled of alcohol, cigarettes, soap and all kinds of things)? WORTH IT. Who knew foam parties could be so much fun!?

Friday... Friday, Friday, Friday.
I did not have a shift on Friday. But I spent the day getting ready for the night and Freshers’ Premier (which is always supposed to be a bit fancier with champagne etc. involved).
At this point, I have to back up a bit in time.

Mari-liis, the extremely kind person she is, had forced me to order this specific dress from Forever Unique. Fine, she didn’t FORCE me, but she did show it to me and I bet she KNEW I would feel the need to order it, so that’s the same as forcing, right?
Anyway, it was one of the most prettiest and cutest dresses I had ever seen and apparently “so me” that I couldn’t resist ordering it EVEN if the last size was 8 (I’m usually a 10 or a 12). And it was the last dress of that colour they had. So I ordered it, and waited for it to arrive so I could check if it actually fits.
The dress had actually arrived on Tuesday, and of course I opened the packet immediately to see if it was as beautiful live as it was in pictures.

I screamed when I saw the packet.

Then I screamed a bit more.

Then I actually opened it:

And screamed even more because OF THE COLOURS AND EVERYTHING.

Then I took it out and found these on the bottom:

Extra tulle and sparkles!!!

And then I FINALLY put it on (and screamed some more):

Front (duh?).

Back.

Because it fit me!!!

So that was my dress for Friday sorted.
When Friday arrived, I felt like a princess so I made myself look like one:

My boobs look small...

I think two pictures were taken of me at the Premier before I got just too emotional about stuff and started crying in the VIP area just before my friends dragged me into a photo with the Loveable Rogues.
Thankfully enough, in that photo there is this random, pink effect on my face and over one of the band members, so no one can see my red eyes.

Otherwise it was quite a good night and a great finish to the long week.
I slept like a baby on Saturday and Sunday, gathering my energy for the following week, which meant lecturers, dance rehearsals, and all kinds of exciting things.

Now, here’s the last nail polish sample!. Well, the last before I show you the NEW polishes I got:

Flormar Supershine Miracle Colors U09.

U09 with Flormar Matifying top-coat.

And that’s it about my extremely interesting life this time. Stay human, and blog ya later!

Oh! Here’s the song that inspired my eye make-up design:

PS. YOU SHOULD MOST PROBABLY VOTE FOR OBAMA IF YOU CAN.