Back to Finland, but so lost

Time to get my blog (and life!?) in shape.

I just deleted a bunch of blogs I used to follow, since they haven't updated in AGES.
Next I'll start to envision a new look for my blog, which is something I was supposed to do AGES ago.

I really need to get a hold of my life blog, this is getting ridiculous :'D

Moving!

Hey you all beautiful and gorgeous people!

I am going to make a "Good Skin 101" post soon-ish, but definitely not this week, and probably not next week, since, as some of you know, I'm moving back to Finland this week, which means next week is pretty much me running around Helsinki, trying to sort stuff out and get some money, maybe apply for a job or two.

And not this week, because I'm supposed to be packing and cleaning, but my room looks like this at the moment:

Messy room is messy. Whoops?

Part of the kitchen 

I'm supposed to get those boxes to Finland somehow, and that's not even all the boxes! :'D
I might ask my friend, if I can leave everything that I can't fit at hers, and then just ask her to send stuff to me whenever I get some money.

I'm taking only two bags into the plane with me (plus hand baggage of course); the blue one you see in the lower photo and a smaller one, which is FULL of clothes at the moment (and still weighs only 11 kg or so, but can't fit much more).

The rest I'll hopefully be able to get when I come back for graduation.

But yeah, I'm gonna go melt now, because it's 28C outside, and at least 30C inside, and I am just NOT created for over 20C temperatures.

Stay human and blog ya later~

Fat, skinny, normal, who the f**k cares?!

So this is something that’s been bothering me for a while, and I just feel the need to get it out now. This might get long, but please, bear with me.

What I want to talk about is weight. That is body weight.

We live in this society, infested with all kinds of diets (and I’m not now talking about someone’s general diet, I’m talking about those weight-loss ones), and media full of skinny people, and it seems to me it’s become a basic assumption, that pretty much everyone thinks everyone else wants to lose weight as well and that they should be complimented when they’ve lost weight. So basically people are worth the compliment of “You’re looking good” when they’ve lost weight. We are basically living in a time of “thin privilege” where we are, well our worth is, automatically reduced to our dress size and measurements, and where the skinnier seem to have it better (NO, I am NOT saying that skinny people don’t get discriminated, just read further, please).

Now this leads to fat shaming, and in a twisted way, also to skinny shaming, which both lead to eating and mental disorders with most people. I mean both are about shaming, discriminating people because of their appearances, and you can NOT possibly know if the person is happy about themselves and what’s going on in their head when you make a comment about their weight, be it a compliment or criticism. Unless you ask them first. For example me… well let me actually tell you a short story about me and my weight.

I never used to think about my weight, I was happy just the way I was, even with my depression and anxiety. Then I got my first mental medication, which screwed me up completely and soon enough I developed an eating disorder. I started gaining weight, but I wasn’t still thinking about my weight in a bad way. Not until people started to comment on it. I got some REALLY nasty comments every now and then, people telling me how I didn’t look healthy, that I was unhealthy. All the time I just wanted to say that it wasn’t my fault, it was my eating disorder’s. I was already anxious, now I got more anxious. Of course thanks to the nasty and constant comments, my disorder took a turn to the opposite and in a year or so I lost a ridiculous amount of weight, and when I saw some of the people who had been looking at me previously, obviously thinking about my weight as a bad thing, were now telling me how good I was looking etc. As if I wasn’t bloody gorgeous before and I only was worthy of people and their compliments now that I was skinnier.
Thing is, my weight kept falling, and soon people were saying things like “You’re gonna disappear soon.” No, I wasn’t underweight/anorexic. I was at a perfectly normal weight in my opinion, but still people felt the need to comment about it to me. Since then, many times I haven’t seen someone I know for a while, when we see they usually immediately tell me that “you’ve lost weight” like it’s a good thing.
I am not gonna lie. It’s a trigger for me. I haven’t been happy with myself since years ago when my eating disorder originally developed. Whenever someone comments on my weight, it triggers all these shitty memories in me. I hate it. Some people see me and tell me “You’ve lost weight, you’re looking good,” and all I can think is: “I don’t wanna lose weight. I’m not losing weight, because I want to. Does this mean I wasn’t good looking before?” And all these other horrifying thoughts NO ONE should deserve to be thinking.
Nowadays I just don't want to hear comments about my weight, and if I do, I escape the situation ASAP.

So that’s my story in a nutshell. So if you come to me, telling that fat shaming is completely okay, since it’ll courage “obese people” to lose weight, you can, and I’m gonna say this NICELY now: “Go fuck yourself in the ass with the prickliest cactus you can find.”
It’s okay to be concerned about the people you care, and if you think they are unhealthily over/underweight (question is over/under WHAT weight?) then TALK about it to them. NICELY. Don’t make them feel bad about themselves. Also, that BMI thing? Quite a lot of crap, lemme tell you.

Now, I don’t want any of you going to your skinny friends and tell them how privileged they are and make them feel bad about themselves either.

Fat/Skinny shaming, aka putting someone to shame because of the way they look, is someone making another human being feel bad and inadequate by discriminating them just because the other one is fatter/skinnier.
Now answer this question to me, please: Who deserves to be called names and shamed because of their looks?

...

If you answered: “No one” - GREAT. You are a decent human being.
If you answered: “Fat/Skinny people” – Once again, go kindly fuck yourself with a cactus.
If you answered: “*insert a name of a person here*” – You should probably re-evaluate your thinking style and reconsider if you REALLY need to call this person names and shame them because of their looks. There is still hope for you.

This is getting a bit long now, so I’ll try to wrap up soon.
The point I’m trying to make here, is that you can’t know for sure if a person wants you to comment on their weight, if they’re not happy or are happy with their weight/are trying to lose weight/etc. unless they tell you. So please dear people, unless you know that someone wants to be complimented/commented on their weight, think about saying anything before saying something. You’ll never know who has a problematic past, who are struggling with a disorder, who just plain doesn’t want to hear about it.
And do stop shaming the fat and skinny people. Do they really hurt your life that much? Are they personally offending you by being the weight they are? Have you though that they might have other problems already than dealing with your shitty way of letting out your opinions/your personal problems?

And lastly, but not least…ly, my dears, do NOT go on a diet just because you feel pressured to lose weight. Do it if you REALLY want to do it, if YOU feel like you need to do it. And don’t ever pressure other people to do the same. Never make someone feel pressured to gain/lose weight. Honestly.

Your body, your rules.

Stay human~ Sushi out!

PS. If you want any comments/recommendations about weight loss/weight gain, feel free to just comment here and ask me anything. I'll help you the best I can (and just because I'm a Bachelor of Arts, doesn't mean I don't know anything about nutrition etc.)

I'll be needing a hair blog soon...

Decided to try and do something cute to my hair. For once.
I introduce you to my first ever hair bow (made out of hair), thrown haphazardly together!

It's not even sunny, but my absolutely luminous skin decided to reflect the grey sky anyway.

I look like I haven't slept for three weeks thanks to the light :D

So... Success/Fail?

Brushies!

Long time no blog!
I can now happily (?) inform you all dear readers that I am done with university, and seem to be graduating with 2.1 (which is the second highest class).

Anyhow, before I start babbling about the past weeks, the award ceremonies and whatnot, I'll just skip to something I obviously wanted to post about ages ago, according to my camera...
Make-up brushes that is.

I have not included all of my make-up "applicators" here, because there're many and I mostly use the ones you see here.

Let's start with my powder brushes:

BodyTalk powder brush.

This is definitely my oldest powder brush and not nearly as soft as it used to be. I barely use it, have barely used it after getting my kabuki and blush brushes. I do use it when I need to apply bronzer or something darker than my usual powder since I'd rather not get my usualy brush full with dark powder and end up with a face disaster...

Dirty brush is dirty.

This was after ONE wash... I went to wash it again after I noticed it was still dirty.

Wet 'n' Wild kabuki brush.

This has to be one of my favourite brushes. It's not the softest thing in my collection, but it is SO good for applying powder that I just akjklsdjflkdjgl. I get everywhere and can spread stuff evenly~

Cleaner brush is cleaner.

You guys DON'T wanna see what it looks like right now, after I've been using it two days straight, applying tons of powder so that I don't look like a complete ghost on stage... I need to rewash it.

Blush brush from Primark.

Primark is CHEAP. That's the main reason I bought this brush. I though "well, it's cheap so even if it's crap, I don't really lose much..."

But holy %!#¤ is it the softest brush ever! I could probably use it for powder as well, but since it's conveniently pink from the tips, it works perfectly with my flamingo pink blush and gives me this illusion of a clean brush.

I do wash it every now and then and then it's pretty like this!

It also came with this convenient cover thingy that I can pop it in every time I don't use it, and it keeps the brush in shape. Shamefully I didn't take a picture of the cover thingy.

Onto something else!

Foundation/concealer brush from Primark.

This was another "ooh, it's cheap"-purchase, and another "damn it's soft!"-surprise.

I actually don't use it that often, since I barely use my foundation nor do I have a concealer. This weekend I pretty much used my fingers to apply my foundation, because I wasn't bothered to carry this with me (don't know why).

Clean from foundation.

Clean from concealer.

Well, to be honest I just find it sometimes easier to apply foundation with my fingers, since I feel like brushed don't make even results.

Onto the eyeshadow brushes!

Cailap eyeshadow brush.

This one I use only for "natural" colours. Aka beige, different shades of brown or bronze etc...

It's quite firm, and surprisingly soft. Best thing about it has to be it's size.

OOPS. I did go wash it after taking this picture.

As you can see in the picture above, I pretty much use this for very specific colours and barely bother to clean it in between. BAD THING.

I don't even remember where I bought this brush from.

Anyhow, I use this one for colourful eyeshadows, which means I also need to clean it more often. This one has seen silver, blue, yellow, green etc.

I see you hiding in my brush, silver!

It's also quite damn soft, and doesn't scratch my sensitive eyelids, which I appreciate.

My older eyeshadow brush from who knows where.

This one is actually a bit "coarse", but it's been serving me for quite a long time and gone through different colours and shades.

Clean!

Urban Decay Naked 2 eyeshadow brush.

This came with the palette I got from Mari-liis last winter. I love the palette, but I gotta admit that the brush itself is a bit tough. Well, the top one (the narrow end) is a bit stiff, but it's soft-ish. The bottom one (wide one) is a bit too coarse for my liking, but I still keep using it, because it's really good for blending the different shades together. Mind you, these two (this one?) I only use with the Naked 2 colours.

Eye!primer brush.

This came with my Sleek Primer palette and I've ABUSED it as you can probably see. One end is for darker primers, the other for lighter ones if you couldn't see x)

Angled brushes...

Remember when I wrote about my angled brush and how it was sticky with latex glue?

Models Own angled brush.

...

...

Yeah, I pretty much gave up with it, since no matter how much I tried to wash it, the glue just didn't want to come off :'D Any suggestions/handy tricks?

So yeah, because that one is like THAT, I decided to get a new one:

Barry M. angled brush.

This one I've sanctified for my gel eyeliner and that's all the action it's getting.

I try to wash it weekly, but sometimes that doesn't happen. But it's SO nice to apply eyeliner with.

My two other eyeliner brushes are from M.A.C.

M.A.C. 209 and 210 eyeliner brushes.

The 209 one is some years old and the water was BLACK when I was washing it for the first time in years. The 210 is quite new and it's perfect for skinny lines, which I btw suck at.

After getting the Barry M. angled brush the 209 has gotten less attention, because I find the corners of my eyes easier to do with the angled brush than with the 209. Both 209 and 210 are soft, but they apply the eyeliner very nicely.

Last but not least I bought this compact brush set from Barry M. some time ago. It came with:

Brow & lash comb.

Eyeshadow brush.

Lip brush.

Powder/blush brush.

I love it. It's what I take with me if I travel somewhere and I don't wanna take all my brushes with me. These 4, angled brush and usually either my kabuki or blush brush.

The one brush out of this set that gets in the action most, is the lip brush, since I often use it when applying my bright red lipstick, the others patiently wait for trips :D

Also, they came with this cool little pouch/case:

So handy!

So yay! There they pretty much are. Not the most exciting post, but hey, I felt like doing it... 2am in the night. NATURALLY. Feel free to bomb me with any question if you feel like it and till then:

blog ya later and stay human!

Wishlist part.1 (?)

Just because I'm supposed to be writing an essay and am procrastinating instead, I decided to post a short "DO WANT"/wishlist to prove that I'm still alive and active, just dying under all the uni work (it'll be over SOON!).
All photos are googled and am not saying that I want the EXACT ones in the photos.

Teasing brush!

I just think one would make getting ready for a night out or for a performance so much easier. Also, I could probably finally tease my hair in a way that makes it STAY big for a bit longer.

Round brush!

Because blow drying and creating different hair-dos with it should be easier than it is right now. Besides blow-dryer (hair dryer, whatever you wanna call it) wouldn't damage my hair as much as a straightening iron ;__;

Compact Tangle Teezer!

It's a Tangle Teezer, WITH A CAP! And it's smaller than my current one so... yes please!

Hair dryer!

I DO have a hair dryer, but mine's a travel one and came with only a concentration nozzle. I want one with a diffuser like that, as well as with the nozzle. And I want one that, preferably, has more heat options than 2.

So yeah... My posts have lately been a bit hair-oriented I guess, but that's because I am obsessed by my hair right now. I want it to be bigger and longer and EVERYTHING!

Anyway, I'll be going back to my essay now (UGH).

Stay human and blog ya later!

This is not advertising, although it probably looks like it.

So my friends and I might've gone to see Iron Man 3 on IMAX just so we could all take a break from the stress (my dissertation practical is on 30th and I'm s*itting my pants because of it!) :D

I did a little... Iron Man-inspired make-up while I was half-asleep in the morning.

Excuse my face.

Red is one of those colours I don't have as an eyeshadow and the closest thing to red I had was Sleek MakeUP's Snapshots (732) palette's Sunset. I'll post photos if the palette another day.

So a bit of improvisation there for Iron Man's red...

Brow bone: Martini, from Sleek MakeUP's Snapshots palette

Inner lid: Golden Glow (shade 38), from Fashionista
Outer lid: Sunset, from Sleek MakeUP's Snapshots palette

As usual I just lined my upper lid with M.A.C's gel eyeliner (Blacktrack), and waterlines with Miss Sporty's kohl eyeliner (001 Magic). Under the lower lashes, at the outer corners I added a bit of blue as you all hopefully noticed. This was done with my years old eye definer from Rimmel quite frankly named Exaggerate waterproof eye definer, 240 Aqua Sparkle.

Whole make-up stayed on really nicely, until we stepped out of the cinema and it was hailing :'D

Anyway, we jumped on a train in Worcester Foregate with a dream and our cardigans. Well, none of us had cardigans, but let's not go into that. We had decided to spend the day in Birmingham and the first thing we did was...

BUBBLE TEA!

Although I guess mine was basically bubble cold hot chocolate, since I got it milky, with chocolate and strawberry bubbles and without the tea :D But noms. It was so good~

Now that I'm comparing the photos from the morning at home and afternoon at Bullring it looks like they are from apart thanks to the hair colour differences in the photos... but I assure, they were taken on the same day, just with different cameras.

After bubble tea Monica and I pretty much lost the guys and went around Bullring, invading all the shops. I ended up getting the cutest little Simba rattle from Disney Store just because, a summer dress from Forever 21 (ooops?), and a little love-box from Ann Summers (webpage can be NSFW) :D

Monica and I also ended up eating at Ed's and we had the best hot dogs ever. AND THE PANCAKES! Omnomnomnomnom~

Quite soon after that we headed for the movie and JSFLKSDJKLDJGLJG. I'm not gonna say anything, because this post would get considerably longer if I did, but one funny thing that happened at the cinema was that I actually had to request kids' IMAX glasses, because the adult ones were WAY too big for me. The didn't even go behind my ears, and instead constantly fell to cover my ears :'D

Conversation between the workers and I:

Me: Hey, do you have like kiddie sizes? Because these are too big for me.

Worker A: Yeah, here you go. *hands me glasses*
Worker B: If they are too small, tell me and I'll go get medium sized for you.
Me *puts the glasses on*: These are actually perfect! Thank you!

The most exciting thing at the cinema apart from the movie.

But that's it. That was my day at Birmingham. It was rather good and pleasant. Apart from the rain.

Anygays, stay human and blog ya later!