And I say heeeyyyyeyyyyeyyyyeyey~

I haven't been up to much lately. Except packing and trying to come up with something to do... I haven't really been out in a while either, so I haven't bothered with make-up. I've been spending time trying some different, basic, colourful nails so I guess I'll share some of those with you x)

Barry M. Lemon Ice Cream and purple crackle.

I had these for about a week before I got bored and decided to change.

17 Catwalk Couture and Barry M. silver foil.

I actually had these for a few days, but because I was cleaning they got a bit chipped and I decided to do something else. I did like these.

I hadn't buffered my nails between this and the Barry M. manicure, so I decided to buffer them after getting rid off of the polish.

Before buffering.

After buffering.

My nails were in a surprisingly good condition even before buffering so I just it was a quick buffering.

GOSH Orange Drops and Wet 'n' Wild Kaleidoscope.

Same in the sun.

I hope this one is going to last me till I fly to Finland because I'm not bothered to do new nails on this week... as I'm moving and cleaning. But we'll see.

I'm gonna go back to stalk- watching my friends on webcam, so stay human and blog ya later~!

Body image.

First of all: THANK YOU. So much. Everyone who commented on my previous post, cheering me up and sharing their support. I really appreciate it and you don't know just HOW much.

But now... I thought I'd share something about female bodies and the body image that I've been thinking about lately...

They say that a woman is beautiful when she accepts herself, when she's okay with her body and mind. And I don't disagree, really.
But I also can't get over the fact that media keeps pushing out these skinny models, actors, singers etc. Because no matter how beautiful they are (and they really obviously are), I can't accept the fact that the media sets up the way women are "supposed" to look.

I don't know if any of you have watched Disney Channel lately, but even Disney has jumped into the fashion train. It was this last winter (I believe) when I was visiting my oldest cousin and her kids, and her 10-year-old daughter was watching Shake It Up, or something like that, and suddenly looked at her thighs and said: "My legs are too fat."
Needless to say that I laughed my ass off, because a TEN YEAR OLD girl was saying this. Her mother laughed as well and we confirmed the daughter that no, her legs are not fat, and no, she shouldn't even think about those at that age.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it, and realised that even kids under 10 years watch the Disney shows and THINK that they should look like this:

The main characters of Disney's Shake It Up. Actresses' ages are 14 and 15.

Forgetting the fact that the show is just terrible (I had to watch it all summer and winter because of my cousin's daughter), all the characters in the show are as... fit and fashionable as these two.

And since kids watch shows like these all day long, OF COURSE they think that they need to look like that. It's imprinted in their minds at a young age already.

I was lucky enough to watch "boys' shows" (and I don't like that either, categorising shows, toys etc. into boys' and girls') when I was a kid, and back then the Disney stars used to look like this for example:

Raven <3

Of course there were the Disney Princesses of the animations who frankly enough have ridiculous body ratios, BUT I admired them for their personalities. Think about it, even though their waists are skinnier than their necks and heads, at least they show over and over again that they can be heroes too. Strong, independent women who can choose what they want by themselves.

Can't really say that for the shows on Disney Channel nowadays, since most of the characters I've seen are silly kids, who have big dreams and stupid jokes...

ANYHOW. Let's get on with it and move onto other topics than Disney and other media's set-up of the ideal female body.

As I said before, I agree that beauty is when someone accepts themselves and are confident and happy in their bodies. That doesn't mean you have to be skinny or chubby or fat or normal or have to train your ass off daily or whatever. It means if you get up in the morning and think "Man, I feel GOOD. I could go to gym and then have a pizza" and put on whatever clothes feeling good and beautiful, then you are most probably happy with yourself, and that's beautiful to me. Beauty is not just what you look like, it's what you feel like and how you are. Your nature. In my opinion.

But since I already mentioned that media sets us the ideal image, I should probably continue with the outer image of beauty, and introduce you some of my girl crushes:

Scarlett Johansson

As long as I remember I've admired this woman for her beauty. She has curves and even stretch marks. She is beautiful and she is sexy. She is talented and confident and one of those Hollywood actors who keeps getting ranked as one of the sexiest women EVEN though she is so-called normal size.

Jennifer Lawrence

She is gorgeous. And every Jennifer fan knows that she doesn't mind being lazy and normal-sized. She loves it. She is happy with how she looks and yes, she goes to gym (which actor DOESN'T?), but she's also said publicly that she loves eating. She's not ashamed of how she looks even if she's surrounded by skinnier or chubbier actors.

Missy Peregrym

This girl has muscles, arms and boobs. You know those actresses with spaghetti arms and legs? Yep, not Missy. Just like Johansson and Lawrence, she has curves, although she can easily look boyish with the right clothes and bra:

Missy Peregrym on the left, just FYI.

Amanda Righetti

Once again, a woman with wide-ish shoulders, muscles and just an absolutely gorgeous body.

Yes, these four women are what I would consider normal size, but I believe they all been considered one of the most beautiful women in the world in different charts. And I don't wonder at all why.
They are all beautiful outside and seem to be confident and happy with they look.
I can't say that ALL media is about the skinny ones, since these four women have also modelled for different magazines and brands, so there's hope. But it just seems that women, especially the younger ones, seem to pick up the examples from the skinnier part of the fashion and pop culture.
And let me tell you one thing a lecturer of mine, who's worked in films and TV told me: the camera actually ADDS kilos on you. And

Now I'm gonna show you... ME!
This is as close to naked you'll see me on internet:

 Love handles!

Stretch marks!

I would be lying if I said that I am completely happy with my body, since I'm not. I'm okay with my upper body, but I do find my bum and thighs just a big too big for my taste.
I've been trying to tone them, but the only place I seem to lose weight is my ribs and waist xD
So if I get them juuust a bit skinnier and just more toned, I'll be happy.
I'm not too confident with myself and after my eating disorder I've been constantly conscious of how I look and whenever a male coursemate has to lift me I tell them "I hope I'm not too heavy".
I don't want to be skinny. I don't want to be fat. I don't want to be chubby. I don't want to be normal. I want to be happy with myself and how I look.

And that's what I think everyone should aim to.
I hope everyone understood my ramblings...

Now let, me leave you with Ashley Graham, a gorgeous plus size model, and I'll blog ya later~

Living with depression and anxiety.

I've been debating for a while whether or not to write about this, because it's very personal and gets me emotional to the point I'm crying alone in my room.
But today I opened Word and wrote over 1400 words about me and my condition, kind of as an open letter. That's a lot of text, so I'll put t under a cut.

If you feel that you would like to read about it, don't be scared to click the 'read more'.

"Big things have small beginnings."

So I am bored, because there's basically nothing to do now that I'm penniless and trying to get a job or coming up different ways to rob a bank. (One of those is a joke, guess which one.)
And then suddenly I thought. HEY. Prometheus.

I went to see the movie BEFORE I ran out of money. It was pretty much the most expensive thing I did with the rest of my money. I know, priorities, but I had waited for that movie FOR A WHILE.
So 1st of June, I went to see it. AND IT IS VISUALLY SO GORGEOUS.
Honestly people, go see it. It is beautiful.

ANYWAY, today I got inspired randomly by these few promotional photos of the three main characters/actors. I just decided "Hey, I wanna do an eye make-up inspired by these."

And 15 minutes later this was born:

I only did one eye, so you'll be getting pictures of one eye.

The orange is actually way brighter in real life, but the sun just went down as I started taking pictures...

 A bit brighter in this!

 I wish I had blue mascara, because it would've worked with this so well.

Tools of trade.

♥ just a hint of M.A.C.'s gel eyeliner on the lashline

♥ a bit of black Miss Sporty on the waterline

♥ Lumene eyebrow pencil to define my messy eyebrow

♥ Two blues (the ones on the very right of the bottom palette) from beauty UK's palette

♥ Two darker blues from Famous' Midnight palette (the top one)

♥ orange lines with neon orange by modelsown

And voilà!

I might explore that kind of make-up more some day, since it was quite fun to do... Because I got to draw random lines in a neon orange eyeliner.

ALSO, my Wicked track jacket is still on sale if anyone's interested! More info at my previous post.

Now I'm going to take a shower to wash my one eye and hands.

Stay human and blog ya later!